Sometimes you need to reflect upon what has happened in the past to be thankful for your present and future. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 5 1/2 months and are extremely happy. I’ve had my doubts, fears and insecurities almost ruin the relationship but I’ve powered through them because I know he is a wonderful man who I would be stupid to let go. But last night as we were laying in bed, we were reminiscing about our relationship and how “me” become a “we”.
It really is amazing to think that someone that you didn’t know about almost 6 months ago is now one of the most important people in your life. That you trust them with your most intimate secrets. That you have faith in them that they can take care of your son. That you love them unconditionally.
Looking back 6 months ago I think about where I was…I was newly divorced, I was dating online, I was going out with friends and keeping extremely busy, I was spending a lot of time with my son…I thought I was happy but I really wasn’t. I’ve come to realize that I am a very independent woman who has a strong personality, big heart and generous nature but I still need to feel that love and companionship of a man.
6 months ago I thought I could do it all by myself and I didn’t need a man. I thought I was Miss career woman with a great job, had my shit together, and a steel determination that I could do anything I put my mind to. Now I see that I was a woman who was trying to fill the void in my life with work, friends and my son but at the end of the day I was just plain lonely. I remember feeling that longing for a male companion to go to the movies with, have dinner, to be able to call after a long day and tell them about my good or bad day.
We constantly reflect upon how we met and how our relationship has progressed quickly to where we are now. We think about how this relationship could’ve been de-railed by so many events or actions we took. I never thought I could be this happy with someone. My most recent experience of being in a relationship was with my bi-polar ex-husband so it was very skewed, irrational and unhealthy. So when my boyfriend and I had an off night this past Friday, it really scared me.
How can you build a future when you are terrified that your past relationships will come to haunt you? “J” and I had an argument on Friday when we had a rare date night and it was a bad night of disagreement and petty fights. It rattled me and I knew that I never wanted another relationship like I did with my ex and this was like déjà vu all over again.
A few days later and many hours of self reflection later I realized that I need to stop letting the past haunt me. “J” is nothing like my ex and one bad night after 5 1/2 months of dating is really good. We both admitted our fault in our disagreement, identified areas where we could improve, apologized to each other and then MOVED on.
I think the key to a successful relationship is knowing when to just let go. I know many of us like to hold on to an event that made us upset and it turn it into a grudge but that is not good for anyone. Do we need to just learn to let bygones be bygones, swallow our pride, and apologize before we let the best thing walk out of our life. When did the art of saying sorry become a thing of the past?
singlesexyandclueless 