Guys like bitches…or at least they like the chase

I am learning what guys like as I venture out into this world of dating. I was of the mindset that dating is hard enough so I was trying to make myself more available and make it easier on the guys so they didn’t feel so awkward and rejected. I was being too damned NICE. I wasn’t playing the game right..I was making myself too available.

So I have been talking to my girlfriends about my dating mishaps and they all came back with the same answer. You need to play hard to get, you are making yourself too available. So my friend E let me borrow her book called, “Why Men Love Bitches” by Sherry Argov. She said I was being too nice and I needed to make it so they pursued me instead of the other way around.

With much skepticism I started reading the book last night and boy do I feel dumb. I was doing EVERYTHING wrong!!! I was too freaking nice to these guys..I wasn’t playing the game. Well in my defense I don’t know how to play the game in the first place since I’ve never really dated. But, I needed to stop being so available and bending over backwards for them.

So J…oh J why do you have to be such a shy and awkward little B? I still like him but I have hung my hat up trying to get this guy. I am going to not make myself very available and see if he pursues me. If he does then I’ll decide if he’s worth it. I cancelled my friend request on Facebook to him and have kept all communication strictly about work. Except one email exchange about Legoland and asking if I should take my son there. Now I’m done and will not contact him at all.

So men like Bitches huh? Well I guess let the bitch come out and see what happens. No more nice girl from next door. Introduce the confident and sexy woman who is busy and unavailable yet occasionally shows a tiny bit of interest. Let the story unfold!

Do nice girls finish last?

So you’ve heard the saying that nice guys finish last… So can the reverse be true? Do nice girls finish last? I’m a pretty nice person; I’m thoughtful, caring, considerate, generous with my time, affectionate, good sense of humor and not bad to look at. Why can’t I get a guy to be interested in me?

I’ve tried to meet people organically through friends of friends or work. I’ve tried tinder which has the rep as a hook up app (which I didn’t know). I’ve tried the more respectable online app, match.com and have gone on the most horrible date I’ve ever been on in my life (see my entry about paging Dr. Groper). I get a few guys interested in me and we may chat a little and then they disappear! Or if I don’t meet with them immediately they quit talking to me.

So I had some girl time with a girlfriend of mine the other night and her boyfriend happened to be there so I picked his brain about a guy’s perspective on dating. Did you know that most guys expect sex on the 3rd date? I had NO clue!! No wonder swim coach didn’t want anything to do with me after I didn’t sleep with him on the 3rd date. I had no idea these expectations existed. I think my ideals around dating are based upon my experiences in middle school and high school which are very naive.

So here I am, an attractive NICE girl and I can’t get a guy to see me for more than 1 or 2 months without them dropping me like a hot potato if I don’t open the gates to my secret garden within 3 dates. Do I not have enough intrigue and mystique to hold a guy’s attention? Do I need to put out to hold a guys attention? I guess I may be single for a very long time because this old fashioned gal doesn’t just sleep with anyone. She is still searching for that chivalrous knight in shining armor. I may be searching a long time